Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
