Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
