New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
