how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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