How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
