I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
