i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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