party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
