Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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