i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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