He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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