It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
