he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
