Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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