Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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