i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
