I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
