Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
