Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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