Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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