are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
