Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
