o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
