she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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