Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
