He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
