nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
