I looked at my own cervix.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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