i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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