after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
