i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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