grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
not ubering you a puppy
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
