omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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