can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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