I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize