I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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