is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
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Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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