i need an iv and a liver transplant
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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