What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
