Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
