I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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