If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize