I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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