I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize