this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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