What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
