going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
