..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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