I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
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should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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