yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
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its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
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I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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