Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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