i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
