My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
