strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
