literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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