I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
