Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
