She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
